Throwback Thursday- Chicken

It’s throwback Thursday!

Do you know what this means?

No you asshole, don’t call that jerk off who made you split the check and all you ordered was grilled cheese when he had ordered prime rib. (True story. Someday soon I’ll make a grilled cheese and share that with you…) What this actually means in my world is that I make something from your past. Chicken Cordon Bleu was literally the first thing I learned to cook on my own. I mean besides simple stuff. It was this sweet little recipe that I learned in Home Ec class way back when Alanis Morissette was blowing Uncle Joey in the back of a movie theatre then getting pissed off that he broke up with her. Side note- Jagged Little Pill will always and forever remain the best breakup album. Don’t @ me in the comments, I stand by my opinion!

Anywhoo….something you should know about me since we’re getting all fucking cosy here is that I don’t cook for guys.

I know! Shocking right??

Food is important, cooking is personal. I put a piece of myself in every dish I create. Some men just don’t respect that. I’ve made a fancy dinner only to be canceled on mere hours before he was supposed to come over. I’ve made dinner for someone who made stupid faces because he didn’t recognize an ingredient. I’ve cooked for someone who thought that I was a short order cook. No! You can’t substitute an ingredient in my food if I can’t substitute a trait in your personality! It’s no wonder I don’t cook for guys. You just don’t deserve it! Anyhow. This classic recipe was the first time I cooked for someone (and his roommate no less).

True to what would become classic “me cooking for men”, the first time I cooked for a guy it didn’t go that well. He didn’t even really seem to like what I made.

Thank god I’m a pain in the ass and resolved to rarely cook for men. I can count on one hand the number of times I put knife to board and butter to skillet to make food for men.

Shit, at least this chicken is good! This combines all things that I love. Meat and cheese. And bread. All you need is butter, wine, and life is good. This one is a good one for when the dates have sucked, you need both some emotional release and comnfotrmt food.

I’ll tell you, pounding chicken out is a great stress reliever! Once you master this little gem, there’s a LOT of different ways you can make it! Enjoy!


Chicken Cordon Bleu
What you need
 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
 1/4 teaspoon salt
 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
 6 slices Swiss cheese
 4 slices cooked ham
 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs

What you do
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Coat a 7×11 inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.
Pound chicken breasts to 1/4 inch thickness.
Sprinkle each piece of chicken on both sides with salt and pepper.
Place 1 cheese slice and 1 ham slice on top of each breast.
Roll up each breast, and secure with a toothpick.
Place in baking dish, and sprinkle chicken evenly with bread crumbs.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink.
Remove from oven, and place 1/2 cheese slice on top of each breast.
Return to oven for 3 to 5 minutes, or until cheese has melted.
Remove toothpicks, and serve immediately.
**For reals though, listen to ‘You Oughta Know’, while eating this, and drinking wine. You’ll thank me.

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